BOP!

And life as I know it has just come to a STOP.

I’m pregnant.

Unplanned, unexpected.

Mood swings.

Dark swathes of depression during the witching hours, is this me? Am I ready for it? Is this my body? Does anyone care?

Euphoria.

Wow, so I finally did it (note I don’t say we).

This is it.

Life as I know it has changed.

And I’m still struggling to come to terms with it.

No more impulsive holidays with just a backpack

No more long drives

No late night meetings

No dances or dandiyas

Pigmentation marks. Acne. Scaly skin. Dandruff. Swollen Face. Fatigue.

And I can’t drink, smoke grass, watch horror flicks, get into fights to chase away these blues.

I’m beginning to resemble a tuber and a rotten one at that.

My stilletoes are out.

Flat shoes keep my swollen feet from getting more swollen.

And heh, guess what?!  I just can’t complain.

After all how many get to be a mother.

With a shelf life nearing expiry and alarming stats (A woman dies from complications in childbirth every minute – about 529,000 each year — the vast majority of them in developing countries not to mention miscarriage, genetic abnormalities, and so on and so forth)

Last count the world’s population was nipping at  1.14% per year, about 133 million babies born each year (123 million and counting this year) and my baby (when it hops out) will be one in the count.

I should count myself lucky, they say….

Excercise

Eat well

Eat for 2

Eat 300 calories more

And don’t worry the nausea stops

You will get the pregnancy glow

You won’t look like a well-fed sow or cow (choose your bovine)

ENJOY

The morning sickness be damned

The pretty 30-year old neighbour who looks 16 to the jaundiced eye be damned

The gym going other half be damned

The well meaning aunty with the religious texts be damned

As I labour along, the whole world be damned!

Let me wallow in my misery, bask in the miracle of having a child inside, delight in the wonder of how the body changes, frown at the well-meaning platitudes, sulk at not being able to fit in (anywhere) anymore…..

After all I get to be pregnant but once!

Unless of course my body thinks it is an assembly line and the next one is in production……

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