Life comes a full circle

After all that waiting my express delivery finally arrived….. Healthy and kicking in full gusto.

A baby Boy.

wee bit disappointed since it was a gurl methot all along.

but the lil termagnet already has the whole house wrapped around his teeny fingers.

and lo my world as i knew it has changed.

the kindle gathers dust as the NYT best sellers await my return

the oven lies unused. the fragrance of grilled chicken and cakes replaced by his poopy and his indescribable body scent which even beats the fragrance of the first rains on wet mud.

where an earthquake couldnt rouse me a whimper does

i’m no longer the subject of an envious sigh accompanied by a snide ‘look at her sleep, the sleep of the innocent’ …..

i’m on my bed listening to the sounds from the cherub…heavy breathing, a gargle, a snortle, gentle gurgles

i watch him for signs of hunger and get his pouts and smiles, eyes still closed

a coo

i pick him up to nurse him, wonder if he’ll be thankful for being born or ungrateful for the life given

i wait for his eyes to shut but see him explore the world with round, wondering eyes and a thoughtful frown.

i walk the night

warmth lulling him to sleep

i do what millions of mothers do around the world

what generations of women did before me transgressing continents and culture

i do what women will continue to do long after i’m gone

i’m a mother now

i have come full circle

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Life comes a full circle

  1. It has been a very very long time; but am pleasantly surprised to know that you have become a mom, now. I was like wowwwww … kya bath hai …. great …. yippee-ki-yay….. and you know after that what was the thought that came to my mind …. heck, this baby does not know how luck he is for having got you as his mom. Congrat… not to you but to the baby boy for having got you as his mom…

    • @Tomcat, thank you for the hearty wishes. And more than that, thank you for stilling the ever multiplying butterflies in my stomach as I watch the little one grow and worry if I can be a mother, let alone a good mother !
      For some one who thought she was strong and could take on any storm that came her way the cry of her lil’ boy is enough to send her scampering.
      As I take him in my arms to comfort him or feed him or just play with him I send a silent prayer that I don’t drop him on his head or give him an infection like the flu bug or my sweet tooth or smother him with my kisses or a zillion other things I could do to unknowingly hurt him. Here is this tiny mite who trusts his very life with me, an inept human. How can I do what I need to, I wonder? If there is a higher power, sure there is by now since my lil mite has not only survived his first month with me but grown beautiful (no, I no longer scoff at mammas who rave about their kids coz I have become a stark raving loony who is loony about her teddy boy) with every growing day, I pray for horse sense.
      My lil’ fella’s cooing, his smiles, his eyes turned to me while I nurse him, his grunts and his tiny snores all reassure me that I must be doing something right.
      And reading your comment just gave me the reassurance i needed to believe in my ability to love unconditionally.
      After all a baby is but a puppy in human form (will I get bashed by my mother when she reads this I wonder) ….. a bundle of pure, unadulterated joy that trusts you to always do the right thing!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s