Of late, the ‘I’ had crept into conversations more often than it used to.
At first, I thought the I’s reflected a heightened sense of self and self-achievements.
I felt comforted with the I’s and my’s.
I believed I had arrived.
After living a life with no sense of self, this heightened consciousness of self was intoxicating to say the least.
The world revolved around what I did, thought, felt, wanted, needed and so on…
The world was monochromatic…
And infuriatingly the I soon turned into a conundrum….
I was lost amidst all the I’s.
A hard knock came from unexpected quarters, or perhaps it wasn’t as unexpected.
A bout of illness and forced imprisonment brought on introspection as life was looked at through a microscope.
Unsung heroes there were aplenty…
From the hibiscus tree withering away in the balcony but still holding strong, a sad shadow of its former self when it sported glorious red blooms and swayed gently in the breeze to mum, working nights and days to feed the family and keep a spotless house.
The small gestures that were taken for granted were received with gratitude.
Silence spoke volumes.
The I’s dissipated and I have started learning to let go….
let go of preconceived notions
let go of heart-ache and heart burns
let go of memories and nightmares
let go of limitations and all the geometrical patterns that form (boxes, circles…..)
I realize that life with all the Me and the I’s is only for the Mice, who are caught in a trap of self deceit….
I hope never to go back to the cage, and if you find me doing this dear reader…KNOCK hard..
Dream on and achieve the impossible for only you stop yourself from reaching and touching…..for the stars and beyond!!
Have a great April…