Hope (some more)

So I haven’t been blogging for some time now. Had a few friends and (surprisingly) some readers ask me why I have become irregular.

I gave the lame excuse, work.

Well, here I’m waiting for the year to end and a new one to begin safely ensconced on a couch, tucked away underneath a rug in an air-conditioned room with my brother regaling me with jokes while the telly blares away some good ole songs from the 70s.

and i look out the window, there is quiet.

last evening same scene (minus my brother) i look out the window and i hear birds chirping and i see people jogging, sitting on park benches talking, hurrying home. Now some of the women were scantily clad (says my hypocritical prudish mind) as they jogged past my window. No catcalls, no dirty looks, life continued as normal.

No, I’m not in the U.S..I’m in Dubai.

 And I have been in this befuddled state of mind ever since I landed here a few days back.

Driving out of the airport I have these huge buildings, huge is an understatement, rushing out to greet me. I feel like a minion in one of Flash Gordon’s comics. The colossal, futuristic structures dwarf me in my entirety and then comes a point when I feel like a giant looking down and all I see are these buildings dotting the landscape with their super expressways and cars streaming by at breakneck speeds.

And in the midst of this never, never land I see people of my own skin be what they are, the way they are back home.

Read into this statement what you will.

This isn’t a paean to Dubai though I’m astounded by what has come to be from a desert; by women walking safe no matter where, how, what; by existence hardwon; by colossal structures that touch the sky; by a myriad other things.

I stand looking out the window and I drift away to see streets filled with people protesting against the brutal gangrape of a woman; I see people getting beaten up for daring to voice their frustration at an inept, cuckold, ineffectual government; I see girls getting hauled in the middle of the night to a police station because they had the temerity to blog their mind; I see young lovers burnt for loving, falling in love; I see senior citizens living behind bolted doors, afraid; I see homeless people begging an existence; I see potholed roads and toll gates where I pay to use the potholed roads; I see……

Is this what I signed up for when I got cut away from my mother’s umbilical cord….to eke an existence, to live in fear, to fight frustration,  to want not to be a woman?!

As I count down to the New Year and get ready to return, I hope.

I hope to be myself

I hope to have the freedom to think and be without fear, without coercion

I hope to live and love in abundance, without care, without restraints and constraints

I hope to continue to be proud to be an Indian, a woman and a HUMAN!!

God bless you all and see you in 2013.




2 thoughts on “Hope (some more)

  1. definitely preethi, it is indeed a great achievement if we can be ourselves in a society which is constantly trying to not allow u to be ourselves!!! cheers to our determination to be ourselves – since I have gone through emotional coercion and now liberated from it, i know wat it is to live in that shadow – i wish those who are under it, come out of it…Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day…merry Christmas sweetheart!!! xoxo

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