Lessons from the trenches

“High time. What is the purpose of living? Who is going to continue your family line? You aren’t getting any younger,” and so on and so forth.

Just another conversation with a overtly concerned parent, an extended family member, a well meaning friend…

Now you know what I’m talking about.

How do I explain something that I’m just figuring out?

How do I explain the complexities of the new age relationship or the psyche?

How do I explain the fear and the anxiety?

……

I’m not ready yet.

I don’t want the responsibility.

Yes, I do but do I want to bring a child into this crazy world where I would probably smother it with my over-protective urge.

Will I be a good parent?

Will I have the dough to afford a 2 lakh per annum pre-school?

Will I end up working till I’m toothless to sponsor trips to snow-clad lands as the fridge is no longer authentic enough to show snow?

Will I hock life to sponsor another life?

Does the world need another narcissistic human?

All of these logical arguments meet frozen stares, angry looks and fury that even Lord Kama would burn out.

How do I explain that work leaves me with no energy to procreate for progeny? And money worries kills whatever energy I manage to muster over the weekend!!

Credit card bills

Housing loans

Personal loans

Sundry expenses

Taxes

Medical emergencies

Crisis situations

Huh….did I miss anything here?

Travel, huh, what’s that?!

Entertainment, huh, come again.

——

Hark and behold

—-

I can do all the crazy things I couldn’t when I was a hormone-charged teenage delinquent or a raging 20-something.

I can trod a path that is laced with wide open, spaces and the sweet scent of nothingness

It’s all about me

—-

Lessons from the trenches….

Find what works for you and be true to thine own

Remember, what you give is what you get, and what goes around comes around

Question yourself and be convinced before you get out to influence others

It is one life, but find what that life means to you

It is alright to be confused and stay confused because out of that clutter comes clarity….clarity of thought and action

STAY TRUE….

cheers!

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Lessons from the trenches

  1. I find myself in a similar kind of a situation. 😉 It doesn’t help reasoning with the “concerned” people who come with such doomsday questions :D. Recently I have found a very good excuse – “God”. All you have to say is “All in good time, God willing”. That will shut some up, but then, the downside is that most of them will start recommending various temples to visit and poojas to perform.

  2. @rocksta…tell me about it, almost took a 10 day leave to go on the pilgrimage 😉
    @jose…darn tomcat that musta been a pain, in the wrong place 😀

  3. reminds me of my fear and the anxiety to get into a relationship..or to even trust someone…but I have learnt lot of lessons during the past 3 years especially…post divorce, I see that I am living now more with reality, lesser with illusions – which is helping me

    • @Shilpa, I always scoffed when people said Time is the greatest healer, I still do. I realised Time doesn’t heal coz there are scars that will never go away, they just fade. And then comes a day when you forget you have scars becoz u have accepted them as a part of your being and they don’t look ugly anymore.

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