The first word that came to mind as I stepped back to take stock.
One year into a job, 12 years of work (mostly in some sort of a corporate structure), 30+ years of existence, 7 years into a steady relationship, 10 days since giving up on Malty.
This last is what got me thinking.
I actually gave up on someone whom I love, who made each day a joy to live; And for all who smirck & snigger at the thought of this, this maudlin sentiments over what to you is probably just a dog, my middle finger to you and for those who understand, well, why do you think you figure so largely in the landscape of my life.
Yes, I gave him up, gave him away.
After much contemplation and a knee jerk reaction to a lonesome creature staring out at me from the other side I called up a friend (who was a stranger till then) to pick him up.
Malty roams free on a chicken farm today and may get a few more dog companions.
Bottomline – Apartment living and a slave to corporate living is just not conducive when there is a hyper-energetic one+ year old who waits by the doorstep, listening and yearning. Walks, plays, time out…I wasn’t able to do much of this.
Is he happy?
I don’t know.
I hear the new companion give me glowing tributes of Malty rescuing chickens from stray dogs, playing on the farm, wagging his tail and not letting the boy get out of sight. He sounds like he has adjusted.
Where does that live me?
Even when he is away, this time for good my life lessons continue. I learnt the hard way…
If you aren’t ready for the responsibility don’t grab it
Think things through, at least in the mid term
Life is about living, and not raking up the past
Be open to the possibilities of a new tomorrow
As I get up to grab a cup of coffee I (imagine) feel his copper toned body brush against my leg as he grabs his toy and drops it at my leg, his sea green eyes staring at me, in hope, perhaps……