Angst

A pow-wow over breakfast is healthy and stimulates you to be sharper on your feet, more than breakfast itself. Now I’m sure most people would disagree with this and argue the merits of having a healthy breakfast for healthy living. But that is not the topic of this post. And perhaps this post won’t really strike a chord with male readers, but here it is.

This particular morning our pow-wow digressed from corporate life and gossip to women and the lack of support there of in every aspect of living the day-to-day. Whether it was middle age angst or .. leave it for you to decide.

“All I want at times is for some one to get me a cup of coffee when I go home. I do not want someone telling me you – don’t need to work- I’m here for you- or take up all my burdens for me- just that thoughtful gesture will give me the strength to wake up to another day of struggle,” said this lady.

Feisty, driven, caring mother of a teen, considerate and duti-bound daughter of two aging parents (80+) this lady is the one we look to for support and direction when we get lost in the corporate quagmire of processes/politics/what-have-you. To have her voice such a thought seemed ludicrous. After all wasn’t she a super-woman?

Before anyone could react another lady chipped in, “I know what you mean. Every day I wake up to a day of chores and I have no complaints coz this is what I have been doing every since I can remember. But there are times when all I want is for someone to say thank you or just show they care or appreciate my efforts.”

And these thoughts found an echo in all of the women. Which brings me to this post?

None of the women are whiners. They shoulder more than their fare share of responsibilities. Each one is accomplished and successful, both on the professional and personal front. Their wants to be appreciated was not directed at the male sex but were generic.

Leading me to wonder :

  • Why women are not as quick to claim credit for anything they do
  • Why are uncomfortable at praise or complments showered on them
  • Why societal approval is still important
  • Why aren’t women as good at vocalising concerns compared with men
  • Why women are still hesitant in reaching out

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Angst

  1. conditioning! not years but centuries! sita’s hubby was reasy to chuck a new bride off and go to the forest just cause his father said so, she cudve chosen to remarry or go back to her fathers place, but no she is supposed not to complain and follow the hubby. draupadi is paraded and traded by her five hsubands, and when she took revenge, she was branded ville. kunti was married off to a blind king, and she had no right to complain, shiva kills parvatis son and gets him back to life with an elephants head, yet she shud be happy and not whine!

    its ingrained not to complain a good wife, a good mom, a good sister a good friend, a lady always listens understands adjusts accomodates but never complain

    • @Anjali..eh that took some guts 🙂 …just logged out of FB but here makes calling up so much more alluring
      @ameet, well said. now if only more people listen

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