Low self esteem or sheer cowardice

I have been meaning to write this post this past week but couldn’t bring myself to.

A young 15-year old girl who lived a few houses away from mine ended her life.

This young kid who was supposed to attend her first day of college hung herself from the ceiling.

Police men stood outside, there was a hush and gossip swiftly followed. Heartbreak, bad grades, poor family relationship, etc, etc.

Outside the house the girl’s mum cried her heart out gasping out words that may have been sentences…”I came out..” “She kissed me before I went to bathe..” “she asked me not to make her breakfast” …. “she said i worked too hard”….”she hugged me”…………”oh, how was i to know that is the last time i see her.”

it’s a week since this incident. every time i pass the house i dare not look there for fear of seeing a mother dumbfounded and in shock.

how can you empathise when you know not how it feels?

what would make a young child on the threshold of a promising life stub it out without remorse (?), without regrets (?) without hope (?)




13 thoughts on “Low self esteem or sheer cowardice

  1. Low self esteem…and at tht age ….the smallest of problem is the biggest issue…When we look back, a small stumble when you were 10, was so big …so unbearable …something like not finishing studying until exam, peer pressure, etc etc. We laugh it off when looked back. But, for kids, I guess u need someone elderly u can confide in. Thats where the key is…!

    • @ami, thank you for reading… totally agree with you..but the elderly do not seem wise anymore or perhaps i see ppl/modern day parents in a distorted prism?!

  2. How is it when we encounter something too large? Words don’t help. Tears won’t stop. Breath rarely comes. Hope is gone. And regret is king. How is it when we encounter something too large?

    We sit silent. We ponder “what if”. We breathe so we can live to regret. No muscles left. Eyes that don’t see any more from waves of tears wearing away our sight.

    Perhaps to just sit together. To breathe together. silent attention. Perhaps, just perhaps, a hand to hold.

    By His Grace.

    • @hiwaychristian, thank you for reading. sometimes the problems engulfs one so much it feels like getting swept away by a wave so big that light doesn’t shine through and the world ceases to exist. a hand to hold, wouldn’t that be wonderful….

  3. whatever be the reason.. the momentary loss of hope/help that the child felt is what pulls my heart…. it will be a very cruel blow to the parents 😦

    • @archana, thanks for reading, it’s been a while since you dropped by so good to have you comment.
      yes, that is what hurts the most..the sheer sense of loneliness that must have driven this young bud to perish before it ever bloomed!!

  4. @jose, i was of the same thought once but not any more. have come across such pathetic examples of parenting and dismal environment that makes the thought of death seem better than living. what would you say to a mother that wishes her daughter dead or aborted every day; a dad who derides his son for being a wimp and not sporting; a kid bullied for being fat; a college student ragged mercilessly and humiliated on the first day of college, etc. etc.

  5. It is not easy for anyone to take his/her life irrespective of how big is the issue. When a teenagers struggles with issues such as poor grades, social awkwardness etc etc, they can often question themselves and their self worth but what to say about the parents when they themselves are so terrified to give new freedoms because they think their teen is going to “fall in” and end up with something worse! Remember that these are your fears…..

    • @ila thanks for reading. we often have this raging debate..”how much freedom is too much freedom?” when it comes to giving your teen their freedom. our parents called it being protective and you still want to do that. like my wise friend said the best you can do is let them go but always keep the porch light on for when they come back home and a cup of hot cocoa as well…meaning, just show them you are there no matter what!!

  6. Its really important to have a right company at that age. Parent’s really can’t guess a teenagers mind but one’s luck on having a good bunch of friends really goes a long way! It’s a typical age of sensetivity and the vulnerability can make it or break it! I am sure Parenting is one real creative stuff and needs all energy and attention a minor slip leads to such misfortunes!!

    • @vidya, yes peers play an important role but nothing can take a parent’s place…and i don’t buy the good parenting vs bad parenting coz it all boils down to being a parent, period!!

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