Wish some of them could be deleted as typos or be redone or remoulded. Unfortunately, in the real world it is just not possible and humans are what they are. I am referring to Boss(es) and how some just shouldn’t have been. Either through hard work, or like a friend said sucking up, people get elevated to responsible positions- managerial ones- but whether they deserve to be there or not is a different issue, and at times debatable.

From the little experience I have had working and the vast amount of descriptive conversations I have had across the years with colleagues, ex-es, peers and acquaintances here is my humble attempt at taxonomy. Feel free to add more or recommend deletions  . Like the title goes “Typos”  need to be deleted 😀

The Father Figure

+ Great one to start your career with. Immensely patient. Protective. Ever ready to help. A good person to latch on to when you need to learn the ropes. A good person to hold on to when responsibilities are thrust. A person to hide behind if you aren’t ready to take on the responsibilities or the brickbats.

Just as with fathers. They will not let go. After you have learned the tricks you cannot be a bird and fly coz they clip your wings. Remember the ‘father’ whose a control freak, well this is a classic type. You will never learn enough to take the decisions by yourself, they will always know better. You will never grow enough to have an ‘intelligent’ conversation or a serious suggestion/solution, because they know more than you do. Experience you see, tells.

The Main Hoon Na

+/- Not much of a difference between the type above and this. But this one will sit back and let you make your own mistakes. H/She will see you falter and stumble on. Then the torchbearers, that they are, will come to your rescue. Hallelujah, main hoon na (loosely translated- I’m there) indeed! They will allow you to thrash problems, compliment you on your out-of-box thinking, spread the word around that they are mentoring a genius and wham just when you think you have hit on the solution and are a  super star. Poof, you fall flat on your face, and heh Main Hoon Na to the rescue. Of course, h/she knew it was going to happen. You see they have been down this road before and you poor sap thought you were threading the road less travelled by. Well hardy haa haa to you.

The Scumbag

+ This one is actually easy to get along with. Everyone knows h/she is a scumbag and they know that too. You know where you stand. You walk around eggshells and mind you don’t step on a landmine coz buddy they are waiting to see you trip and then walk all over like they would on a doormat. You are alert, focused, conscientous. Now, what more can an organisation want but a devout employee like you 😉

Problem is you need to have a thick skin to work with personalities like these. It will require immense patience and sheer desperation to stick around so long. So good luck, you deserve it.

The Snake

+ They pamper you, treat you like their long lost kid or sibling depending on which end of the scale you are on and your sex of course. Life couldn’t have been better, you think. All the processes are taught to you with the patience of the Dalai, your stupidities are forgiven and your follies laughed at. Ah, you think I am in corporate heaven.

Stupid sap. Just wait till your appraisal. All your follies, your ignorant remarks, your ‘wit’ will be listed out and you will be at your wit’s end. Wherefore art thou O lord and saviour that you fed me to the snakes this way, you pray. Pray on for deliverance is close at hand. You either get booted out or know your place in the larger scheme of things. You promise not to be taken in again, till the next cup of coffee of course.

The Perfectionist

+ Again, a great way to start your career even though the journey may be painful at times. Your i’s should be dotted and the t’s should be crossed. You will learn all you need – to succeed and excel too because perfectionists that they are they will never rest till they have sorted you through and through. You must learn to think like them  and act like them if you can’t do better.

Have a thick hide but an extra thin head so you can sponge their words of wisdom. These folks are taskmasters but  worth it in the longer term when you have become a SUCCESS. They will truly make you live the adage No Pain No Gain.

The Shirker

+ For the Smart Alecs,  you couldn’t have asked for a better boss. H/she is always too busy in meetings, meetings to discuss the next movie to watch, the upcoming corporate event, the cricket match next week, the new colleague and their sartorial tastes. For them, the mails can wait, the project’s deadline can hold, the boss and their summons can wait. In fact, everything can wait and that is when you show your Capability and optimal output. Of course, whether they share the credit or hog the praise depends on the type of shirker they are, which could be a combo listed earlier.

If the combo is that of a scumbag and a shirker, my friend you are screwed. Else, you can be the scumbag and turn the tables for a change but beware you don’t make a habit of it coz there may be someone who does the same to you.

The Buddy

+ Not a great boss for someone who is into the first job. But for a second and a third and all the ones after it this type makes the workplace fun, almost college. What more do you want. The meeting is always at the office canteen, the coffee shop or the pub. The meeting is more a buddy session, where you yap about everything but the main issue. But hey what a life, so why complain.

Of course, if this is your first job though the type isn’t as painful as the others you still would rather work than play all the while isn’t it?! Because when the super boss asks why wasn’t the project completed on time, Buddy being buddy will get away with it but you my friend end up with all the bricks and the bats too.


6 thoughts on “Typos

  1. Hey thatz great stuff buddy! Let ze thunder growl, ze great bind howl and may the mighty lightning strike zess bozzes – u kno – where – Righto – up there – thanks buddy – u kno za langue!!

  2. Well well well… lemme see… wat do we call one who is a pinch of a snake, a dash of a hawk, an amigo, and a wait a sec… a nutty Koel… and nope i ain’t thinking of any of my bosses.. past, present or future 🙂

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